How to Help Your Kids Be Kinder to Each Other (And Why It Starts with Empathy)
he most common question from parents is: How can we help kids be nicer to each other? The answer is simple, but powerful: empathy. When kids understand how others are feeling and are able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, they naturally start acting with kindness.
Peter Bazalgette, in his book The Empathy Instinct, explains that empathy isn’t just a soft skill—it’s something we can nurture through activities that help kids practice understanding and compassion. And for parents with neurodivergent kids, understanding and practicing empathy can sometimes be a bit more challenging, but these activities can really help!
One of the most important takeaways from experts is that empathy is the one thing that can’t be replaced by machines. Surgeon’s job can be easier for robots because they follow a clear, step-by-step process. But when it comes to jobs like nursing or teaching young kids, these roles rely on emotional intelligence, empathy, and understanding—things that machines can’t do (or it will be very difficult for them to do it). For example, a kindergarten teacher helps shape kids’ social skills and emotions, something a robot just can’t replicate so far.
Empathy is truly what makes us human, and investing in empathy now is investing in a kinder future for our kids.
But coming back to making our kids kinder to each other first…
I’ve tested a few of empathy enhancing activities with my kids (6 and 8 years old), and I can honestly say they’ve made a huge difference. My kids are now fascinated by words like “empathy” and “amygdala” (the part of the brain responsible for emotions). They love showing off who has the most empathy and what it really means. It’s been so empowering for them!
Here are some simple, fun activities to teach your kids to be kinder to each other:
1. Compliment Jar
Activity: Set up a “compliment jar” where each child writes a kind note about another child and places it in the jar. Read them aloud at the end of the week.
Why it works: This helps kids focus on the good in others, boosting their self-esteem and encouraging positive behaviors.
My tip: We do this every day at home—my kids love reading their compliments at the end of the week. It’s a great way to reinforce kindness!
2. Gratitude Journals
Activity: Have your kids keep a gratitude journal where they write down something kind they saw someone do each day.
Why it works: Encourages kids to notice the good around them, building empathy and appreciation.
My tip: My daughter loves to draw, so her journal includes sketches of what she’s thankful for. My son, on the other hand, prefers writing about his emotions. You can make it personal and fun!
3. Storytelling and Empathy Exercises
Activity: Read stories that involve characters in challenging situations (like foster children challenges). Ask your kids how they think the character feels and what they would do to help them.
Why it works: Stories allow children to put themselves in others’ shoes and think about different perspectives.
My tip: Check out the beautiful book “Loris Opens Up His Heart,” where you can explore empathy through the story of a foster child. It’s an interactive way to start conversations about kindness.
4. Role-Playing and Perspective-Taking
Activity: Create role-play scenarios where kids act out being in someone else’s shoes (e.g., a new student at school, or someone feeling sad).
Why it works:This helps kids understand how others feel and teaches them to respond with kindness.The best way for children to learn is by doing, so involving them in interactive role-playing will help them grow.
My tip: A fun and easy way for kids to role-play and learn empathy are the online video classes. My favorite is Empathy Heroes. This class was created by a children’s book author, mentor, and parent, and it’s unique because it involves kids in storytelling. It’s based on an award-winning book about empathy written by the author.
5. Co-Regulation Practices (Calm-Down Strategies)
Activity: Teach your kids calming techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or using a “calm-down jar” with soothing items like glitter or soft fabric.
Why it works: Helping kids regulate their emotions teaches them to be kinder, especially when they’re feeling upset or stressed.
My tip: My kids love the calm-down jar—whenever they feel overwhelmed, they use it to help them focus and calm down.
These activities are not only fun but effective in teaching kids empathy, kindness, and emotional awareness. Especially for parents with neurodivergent kids, these practices provide valuable tools to make understanding and kindness easier for everyone.
Let’s keep teaching our kids that empathy isn’t just about feeling for others—it’s about understanding, connecting, and doing kind things because we care. Give these activities a try, and watch how your kids grow in their ability to be kind to each other!
